A couple weeks ago I launched an article called “How to Cockblock the Universe from Giving you Everything you Want in Life.” Well because of that article I have since been asked to be a guest on Oprah, Ellen and I’m getting my own Reality TV Show! Crazy, right!?
Okay now that I have your attention, I can tell you that none of that is actually true … However for some reason the Cockblocking Article I created resonated with thousands of people around the world! I was laughing at how many emails I received from people confessing to be Cockblockers! So if you’re a cockblocker or you know someone who cockblocks the Universe from giving them or you the fun, joy-filled, abundant, expansive, hilarious and blissful life that they & you deserve, then you’re gonna laugh to ‘enlighterment’ as you read this BIGGER, Longer & Uncut sequel list of Cockblocking strategies that’ll surely sabotage all your dreams from coming true! Enjoy…and then change that shit!
Dim your Light…It’s important that you don’t shine too brightly in the world, otherwise you might make other people feel uncomfortable or bad about themselves and that’d just be rude!
Talk about everything that’s wrong in the world… I really don’t think enough people know about what the problems are in the world so do them a favor and put some extra energy into complaining about all that stuff that’s just not right. But don’t stop at the world’s problems, harness that negative power and focus on how everything in your life is going wrong too!
Do NOTHING to stand up for what is right…It’s never a good idea to stick up for what you believe in. That can only lead to disagreements and uncomfortable situations that cause you to grow. So next time you see something wrong in the world, look the other way, change the subject or turn on a re-run of Seinfeld! Phew, dodged that bullet…
Give your power to others…Who do you think you are trying to be an empowered human being? I recommend waiting for the government or someone else; anyone for that matter, to come fix your life and make things right! In the meantime just wait impatiently on the couch for something to change…Shame on you for trying to ‘unsuppress your awesomeness.’
Believe something’s wrong with you…Carrying guilt, shame and heaviness with you throughout your life because of some unTruth someone said about you when you were like 4 years old is a SURE WIN to successfully cockblocking the Universe from giving you your desires…Pile on the heaviness and always agree with those who say bad about you!
Hang out with people who really bring you down…They say we are most like the 5-10 people we spend the majority of our time with. So be sure to pick the most miserable, complaining, unmotivated group of people to hang out with and have contests to see who can ‘poo-poo’ on life the most!
Blame, Blame, Blame, Blame, Blame…Remember, it’s life and everyone else’s fault that things are the way they are, so don’t let them ever forget that…it’s them and their stuff, never you and yours’!
Work a job you totally hate…It is noble to work a job you hate, so keep it up. Be sure to hold onto your belief that there’s no other way. Cuz if you start believing you can do what you love and make money too, you may just start having fun. That’d be horrible, right!? But don’t worry, you only have another 20, 30 or is it 40 years til retirement? Then and only then can you have some fun!
Listen to really low vibing music… Since vibration and words are so powerful at affecting our health and state of being, do your self a favor and listen to what will be sure to keep you in the lowest or most irritating vibration possible. Gangster rap and heavy metal are my faves!
Eat processed, GMO and fast foods… These foods are perfect for draining your life force. Mmmmmmm, the taste of slow death has never tasted so good or looked so pretty … well, sort of!
Allow others to control your destiny…Listening to the dreams of others and embodying them as your own will create a false vision for your future that will be unfulfilling and impossible to reach. This will cause heartache, misery and constant disappointment in your life…HOORAY!
Keep yourself overly busy…Don’t just be busy, keep yourself frantically busy and go until you crash! Maintaining this state of panic and reaffirming that there’s not enough time for you is a great way to ensure a downward spiral in your health and happiness. Good one!Don’t listen to your body…Your body is a stupid machine that doesn’t know anything, right? Instead of tuning in and listening to the innate wisdom of your body when something feels ‘off,’ just go to your local pill-peddler…cuz if it’s numb there’s nothing wrong!
Live a drama filled life…Drama doesn’t just waste your time and energy, it also keeps life ‘interesting.’
Call yourself a stupid Cockblocker as you read all these strategies for Cockblocking … Affirmations are a powerful way to shape your reality. So re-affirm over and over again that you are indeed a Cockblocker…and don’t ever let your subconscious forget it!
Patience be damned…Expect everything to happen exactly when you want it to. (this one submitted by Joanne at Cowabunga Life)
Seriously though folks, these cockblocker lists are meant to bring some fun, lightness and humor to our healing journeys (just like a picture of me wearing purple underpants giving two thumbs up) … So stop taking yourself & life so goshdarn serious (if you are). We’ve all got some inner work to do and we can either do the work through laughter and humor or tears and anger…you pick. I find I let go of the stuff that doesn’t serve a whole me a whole lot quicker when I strip it’s power away by giggling at the silliness of it all. I hope these Cockblocking Articles have shone some light on some stuff you’re ready to let go of and at the same time, added a little more laughter to this funny human experience called Life!
You are a total miracle of God or the Creator of all that is…so stop believing all the other bullshit those voices say about yourself and have some fun. You’re made of love and that IS that!
Brad Morris (BradiDude)