When life’s just not going our way it’s easy to wonder if the Universe is out to get us. But is it actually?
There was a time in my life when I felt like a victim to circumstances. This is a horrible feeling that caused me to feel powerless, deflated and as though my life or well being was dependant on someone saving me.
It wasn’t until I took 100% responsibility for myself that my life took a 180 degree turn for the better. Meaning, I acknowledged and accepted that all of the choices I made up until this present moment caused my life to be what it was and is and if I want my life to change for the better then I have to make better choices that support what I want to experience.
This is why I coined the term, “Happy New Now” because it’s a light, playful way for me to remember that every moment is an opportunity to restart, refresh and recreate how I want my life to be.
Taking responsibility is not just a one off thing that we can shrug off our past and everything starts magically working out. No. It means we must be willing to deal with our past, embrace our current challenges with an open heart and positive mindset and set out to create an awesome future for ourselves. And then we must continue to do this every single moment moving forward.
If you are struggling with Reality right now and need some help, below are some of the things I have done to help me grow through the shit storms that have blown through my life. I hope they act as a life raft for you…
Begin with Gratitude: When in the downward spiral of negativity it’s easy to get lost in the story that our world is falling apart and that it’s never going to get better. Whenever I reach that breaking point in my own life when I feel lost, afraid or defeated I give myself a time out. In my time out I grab a piece of paper and write down as many things as I can possibly think of that I’m grateful for. It may not solve all my problems, but it sure does feel better and show me that life isn’t as bad as it seems.
Start Asking, “What Do I Want? and then Write About it:” This is important. If we are without a vision for what we want in our life then how can we expect to get anything better than what’s showing up? We must go from acting like a helpless victim to being an empowered Creator, which I know is hard when we feel like life keeps throwing us curve ball after curve ball. But we must find shelter from the storm for a short period of time so we can write out as much clarity about what we want. How we want to feel, what experiences we want to have, who we want to be in our lives, how we want to show up to these challenging situations, how we want to right our wrongs. Taking the time to clear our mind and focus on what we do want is a liberating exercise and will open new pathways to peace.
Stop Complaining: What we focus on becomes magnified. If we are constantly focusing on what’s going wrong our mind will become trained to pick out the negative aspects in all situations, people and experiences. We must be disciplined and train our minds to see good, to find opportunity, to seek the lessons and chance for growth in all moments. If we don’t choose to do this then we have no hope of ever escaping our struggles. Seek goodness to find goodness.
Take Full Responsibility: If we’re pointing the finger and blaming others for our misfortunes then we will never uncover the valuable lessons and wisdom that can be gained. We must take an empowered approach and ask what we can learn, how we can grow and in what ways we can bring love, compassion and kindness to our current situation. We may not control what happens to us, but we do control how we respond to what happens and with that, we hold the power to fuel our greatest potential.
Be Kinder: It is common for us to beat ourselves up when we can’t get our life together, however if we want to move forward and begin the upward spiral of positivity, then we must soften into ourselves and kill all of our self judgments with radical kindness and self love. I have found that writing an encouraging letter to myself is very helpful in times where I need support or acknowledgment.
Make Peace with the Past: When our past goes unresolved we bring it into our present experience, which prevents us from enjoying our life right now for a prolonged amount of time. Making peace with our past choices, traumas or mistakes is so important and it can also be very difficult depending on the severity of our life. Everything we’ve ever experienced is stored in our body, memory and cells. It is recommended to find a coach or guide who has experience in this field of work. Our future selves thank us for being humble and asking for help.
Search for Proof that We Are Supported by Life: It’s easy to get caught up in the story that we aren’t loveable or supported, but that might just be the biggest lie we’ve ever believed. We must find proof that we are supported. The air we breathe, water we drink, food we eat, kind acts from strangers, loving gestures from friends, having someone listen to us or support us through a tough time, financial miracles, etc… All these things must not go unnoticed. We must remember always that we are supported RIGHT NOW and if we doubt it then we must check to see if we are still breathing. If we are, then we know our answer.
Be Present: Life is a precious gift and an opportunity not to be taken fore granted. When living in regret or fear for our future, we are missing out on what is right in front of us. Practice presencebecause it is in our presence that our power exists and where we have the power to make positive changes. Every moment is an opportunity to practice. Meditation has been a life-changer for me.
Add Something Awesome: Our habits make us who we are, so if we don’t like who we’re being or what we’re experiencing, make a positive lifestyle change. Adding an awesome new thing to our routine can make a huge difference in the long run. Once that thing becomes a habit, add another!